Okay. I'm Back.

I had to take a break. I was becoming SO overwhelmed with rewriting, and frustrations about "what the publishers want" verses "what I want to write."

It's a tricky tricky biz.

But I'm at peace now. I'm cool. I'm writing again after a week off. I got this.

I can do this!

I am doing this.

(Forget writing. I should be a motivational speaker.)

The Artist Ego

I have a problem.

I have an EGO problem.

And it is the opposite of what most people consider an "ego problem."

I haven't got one.

Okay, I do, but she's a wee little lass, so, perhaps, she's like leprechaun sized. No, no! Fairy-sized!

She's tiny.

She is the reason I didn't get a BFA in acting.

She is the reason I cringe away from praise or criticism of any kind.

She is the reason I'm afraid of querying my book.

She is the reason.

She's a real brat.

If she could grow a foot or two, perhaps I'd have more confidence. Perhaps I'd be able to toot my own horn enough to get somewhere in this here writing world (which is a confusing, twisty-turny, uppy-downy, motion-sick-vomit-inducing machine.)

So. I'm going to work to tell my ego to step it up a bit. I need a bit of her to carry me through as I start this process.

*Except I'm desperately afraid my writing actually sucks*

Sigh.

Hmmm.

So. The more I research, the more I realize my book sucks.

Okay, that's not true, but the rewrites just feel so so endless. I want it to be good, and I'm not interested in querying too soon, but good heavens.

Next step: I need to print it out, and highlight the conflict in every single scene. Apparently, if there isn't conflict then it's bad. BAD.

I thought I knew how to write.

Looks like, maybe not so much.

It's a good thing I LIKE writing.

Now, if only my children LIKED me writing.

First Major Rewrite: DONE!

I have the second one coming right on its tail, but the first major rewrite is DONE.

I have officially made it beyond any point of book-writing I've done in the past! GO MORGAN GO!

(Yes, I just pep-squad cheered myself, I'm okay with that.)

My fabulous sister is acting editor right this minute, and as soon as she's done her thing, then begins round two.

I love this work. Rewriting is sometimes a drag, but oh my goodness, I love that there is always improvement (is that weird?). I feel like even when this book is all done, published and in the hands of readers that I'll be like, "Oh, I should have done XYZ on page 123!".

I think that is fine because nothing is ever perfect. We are aiming for near-perfection here, and I'm happy to be working toward it.

I.love.writing.